Today as I was walking out of work after a somewhat stressful day, I walked through the break room and CNN was on. They were talking about some “breaking news” that probably wasn’t really breaking news, and also something I didn’t care about at all or care to find out more. I’ve made up my mind in this election, and nothing is going to change it. I have been worried that if the opposing candidate, one that I am literally scared of, manages to get elected, we could end up in WW3 and then world as we know it will end. I know this is a gross exaggeration, and totally unfounded, but nonetheless, I had all this running through my head as I was opening the door to leave.
Then I made it outside and…… it is just so pretty out today. The changing leaves are beautiful, it’s a comfortable 76 degress outside. The sunset is turning out to be gorgeous. I am literally outside on my back porch looking at it right now through the trees as I write this.
I was struck by the beauty of it all. Which has happened to me before, but it brought me a sense of calm today that I really needed. Between all the madness at work, watching this awful election transpire, and coping with some other various heartbreaking events that have happened lately to people that I love, I needed to feel some calm in my life.
The calmness washed over me gently, it was subtle, but enough. All I could think over and over in my head was, “no matter what happens in life, no matter who gets elected, God will still be in control, and there will still be beauty in the world”.
This thought comes to me at a time when I am still very confused about my beliefs. I still don’t know exactly what I believe about God. But today, right now, I believe that.
Recent events in my life, both the wonderful and terrible, have stirred up something within me. A yearning for truth and for answers.
The recent sudden and tragic death of a dear friend and co-worker’s young son, who was only 17 years old, struck me very hard. I only knew him through her, but his life was inspiring, and the more I learn about him, the more I am amazed someone so young could do so much and impact so many people.
His funeral was the most heartbreaking event I’ve ever been to, but oddly, one of the most encouraging also. It brought so many things into perspective, about what is important, and what is not. Why do we always seem to forget these things?
All I know is that I feel a calmness right now, and I am grateful for that. I know I will have to find reminders again in the future, when I manage to mix up my priorities again. I still have a long path to follow, and I still need a lot of answers, but until then I need to remember that there will always be beauty in the world, so I am going to focus on that.